Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Looking for...Home Improvement, Gardening, etc.

Recently my wife said to me, "I'd heard there was a handy Jewish man. I guess you're him." You see, Jewish men do not have the best reputation for being handy around the house. I'm not sure why this is, but my dad spent about fifty-five years in the building materials business and I don't think there was ever a "handyman" that stepped foot in our house. My dad actually had me on the roof of the house without a safety line at about ten years old (What were you thinking, Dad?), working on the heating wire that we installed to stop ice dams from forming. Plus, working for that "before there was Home Depot" chain, he got a lot of free paint brushes and tools and stuff over the years. Perhaps this is why I am such a fan of "This Old House." Love that show. Want to be on that show! But I don't think it will happen. Certainly not anytime soon.

Thus, in the meantime, I am looking for books on...

  • Home Improvement
  • Gardening
  • Painting
  • Organizing

Are you Norm Abram? Please call. I'd love to do a book by you. Are you anyone who has ever been an "expert" on EXTREME MAKEOVER: THE HOME EDITION? Let me hear from you. You get the drift. If you are the next Martha, I want to work with you.

Have you remodeled your house from scratch and have laugh-out-loud stories to tell? Tell me. Can you help me figure out what's eating my plants? Tell me.

But—and this is a big BUT—you have to be writing about your subject in a manner that would not be found on the Internet. You see, most people looking for help in these areas are going straight to the web for help, not the bookstore. So your book has to somehow cover the topic in a manner that the web will not. Being a celebrity would help. Writing in a narrative fashion, instead of strictly "how-to" style, would help. Having a TV show would really, really help.

And, of course, you need to be able to write well and in a clear and informative manner. It's a trifecta of what you know, who you are, and can you write well. Hit all three of those and you'll be on your way.


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