Monday, December 07, 2009

I know this will make me sound like a jerk, but...

I've been getting email and regular mail lately, asking me if I've read various chapters or manuscripts and I have to admit that I'm a bit annoyed. So annoyed, in fact, that I actually rejected something without reading it today. Why? Because the author sent me two emails via Facebook asking me if I'd read his material.

Folks, forgive me, as I know this probably makes me sound like a jerk, but the request letter that is sent out specifically says we are unable to respond to inquiries regarding the status of the submissions. And the monthly round-ups make it very, very clear that I've gotten very, very little reading done this fall, as I've been busy with my actual clients and without an intern (not so secret fact: my interns do a lot of the first reads on material). So if you submitted to me and haven't heard from me, that means, with 99.95% confidence, that I simply haven't read your material.

Now, for those of you who submitted an actual mailed query and got an actual request for material, you also got an offer of a service called Express Review™. This is why that service exists. If you don't have the time or patience to simply wait for me to read your material, you should have ordered Express Review. If you queried by email, you were not offered Express Review because I've yet to develop a form for it that will email, but if you are unwilling to wait for as long as it takes for us to read your material and want more information about Express Review, simply visit my website and use the FAQ form to indicate that you have a submission with me and would like more information about Express Review.

Otherwise, your patience is appreciated. Please do not email or mail or call with requests for updates on the status of your submissions. We still have sample chapters from July to read. If you sent in your material later, then we have not read it. If you sent it in but are afraid we did not get it, resend the entire package and use Delivery Confirmation from the USPS to ensure we receive it. Or you can presume the USPS got it to us and check back here periodically to see where we are in our reading.

I apologize, again, for sounding like a jerk, but I'm tired. Wiped. My poor infant son is teething and none of us are getting sleep, and people are bugging me about things they sent a month ago. Patience is a virtue. Be virtuous.


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